Finding My Way

 "Be nice to others on your way up, you'll need them on your way down."

Sometimes, we don't always get what we want, and life don't always go as we planned how we want it to. It's about accepting and making the best out of it that really counts. I still can't seems to vent enough about how disappointed and hurt I still am. It's okay, like I've said, Family tsis kawg rau ntawm neb. It's just hard to believe that you guys really are what you seem to be. But I tell you, I don't go on and talk shit about your family, so don't you dare going on talking shit about my family. You'll see the bitch in me. Ain't no lie.

I see everyone around me figuring out on how they wanna do life, I sit here and wonder, just where and how do I want to do my life. I'm not so sure no more. My vision starts to blur as I live in this day by day life. Sometimes I wonder, how do I know it's the right path to take, because I feel like being on my own, I'm not so sure what seems to be right or wrong no more. I don't know how I want my future to be like. I want a happy future, just no motivation to get there. Don't get me wrong, my Husband and I are truly in love, we're still kids starting a life together, and I wonder, how do these young kids do it now and days? I mean, my husband got a stable well paid job, yet sometimes we still tend to suffer a bit here and there with our bills. Do they not have bills? Do they not worry about where life will take them too, because I worry.

It's been awhile since I've talked to my Dad, but even tho I haven't mention about how I miss him, I know he knows that with every beat and even the skipped once I still miss him. Tonight, I wonder once again, how life would be like if he was still here. Would Ma still suffer as much as today? And just how lonely she must feel now that I'm so far away as well. I wish he can reach out to me, just one simple sign to reassure me that he's with us and looking out for us. *Sigh, right now everything is crashing down on me and I can't think straight. I just, I just miss him so much it hurts.

Marriage & Life

I just got done watching a movie called Nkauj Nab Siv Ceeb. This movie had opened up my eyes and indeed taught me a very valuable lesson in Marriage and Life itself. 

      Ua ib sim niam txiv, yuav tsum sib hlub tshaj plaws. Yuav tsum uv thiab zam taus txhua yam, txawm tias yus tsis txhaum los yuav tsum tau zam thiab hlub tshaj yav tas. Peb ua neeg nyob, yeej yuav muaj tej zaum ua yuav ua tau yuam kev, txawm li cas los, yog niam txiv lawm, yuav tsum ua lub siab loj tshaj plaws. Tsis txhob muab lwj leej lws tus los si nyiaj txiag saib hlob tshaj yus tus txiv los si poj niam. Kev txij nkawm tsuas zoo thawj tug, yog dhau lawm ces, lwm tus yeej yuav saib yus tsis muaj nuj nqis lawm os. Ua neeg nyob tsuas paub hnub no xwb tsis paub tag kis, yog li ntawv yuav tsum qhia rau tus yus hlub tias hlub tshaj plaws. Tsis yog hais ntawm lub ncauj xwb, yuav tsum ua kom tau in yam pub rau nws, ua yam dawb paug tsis yuav nuj yuav nqi. Tsis tas li, yuav tsum muab yus txoj sia saib muaj nuj nqis, vim ib ntsais muag xwb ces, yuav plam mus. Thaum plam lawm, txawm yuav qhuaj thiab thov npaum cas los, yuav tig tsis tau lawm os mog. A happy successful marriage is when the words I and You becomes into Us and Our. Unconditional love is what will keep the relationship alive. In a healthy marriage, there's no secret. Love the ones that love you and even the ones that don't. Never take your life for granted, because once it's gone, it's never coming back. Appreciate what you have and work for what you don't have. Hard work really paid off. Express your love daily, because no one knows what tomorrow may bring. 

           Nancy Thao Loves Lee Xiong;

            Forever ain't enough Babe.

Upset & Hurt

     I'm not sure what to say, or even how to start this. Your own son, turns his back on you when you needed him most? Knowing that you've suffered so much for him through all these years when she simply asked for help, you shut the door right in front of her face before she even asked. You and your wife, selfish. So selfish. You go on and tell others how you're the "better" person and that it was her fault all along. Simply just cause she never spoiled you as a kid, well, hello! She's a single mother of 7 kids. One hand as a mom and the other as a dad, what do you expect? Boy, you're fucked in the head. I pity you. Again, I've lost all my respect for you. You proved me right and I'm glad to say, thanks for calling to bitch at me, cause you've just proven to be the pussy whooped man that I said you were. You go on, go on and ignore my Ma's phone calls. Just remember, karma is a bitch, it will get you. You watch, one day, your ass will be crawling up to her, and i promise you, she ain't gonna accept you. So much for saying you're the "Right and Better" person. You sore selfish jerk.

      I miss my Ma and how, I wish I could be there for her. My heart aches every time I hear that she's stress and she has no one to turn to. Getting married, has made me realized that not only do my Ma needed me most, but I simply needed her most too. I don't regret, because my Husband always assure me that I've made the right choice. My only regret is not being there for her, and standing up for her, when others step all over her. I can't put it in words about how disappointed and hurt I am. I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive and forget. I'm not holding on, it's just unbelievable about how far these people has taken this small issue and made it so big. I say, bring it on then, cause admit it, you never liked my Ma from the start, son don't play your little innocent games and try to make my Ma look like the bad one.I want to be able to protect you when people bash on you, stand up for you, when others step all over you, and speak for you, when you feel like you just can't be heard. I love you Mama, and I miss you so much.