Some days I feel fine about it, and some days when I run into something that reminds me of each and everyone one of 'em, I want to cry. I know it's normal. I miss them. Each and everyone of their faces. From the good times to the bad times. Sometimes I miss them so much, that I'm willing to give up everything I have now, just to get them all back. To how things were before, but I know very well, I can't. I feel this emptiness in me. And who am I to fool, indeed I've lost a very special part of me, because of being so far away, I've lost my family. I know we're just one phone call away but sometimes I refuse to call them. Lately I've trying to avoid calling them or answering their phone calls because I can't seems to face the fact that I am not there in person with them. *Sigh who would of thought it would really be this hard. I remember my Mom being a jerk to me after I told her I was gonna leave and saying to my Sis In Law how thankful I am for my Mom to be a jerk to me because it'll just make it that much easier to leave her, but now, even thinking of those times makes me miss her so much more only. And my fat girl. Oh how I miss her most. Her smile, her laugh, and fatness, and oh how she run and the way she talks. Just everything. I give it all back, just to really see her. I hate how being so far from both families makes us miss out so much. Like seriously so much. I remember when Lee took me home one my my Aunty had a baby that couldn't even walk yet and just when we went back to attend Shervun's wedding, he was walking already. I couldn't believe it. See what I mean we miss out on so much? And Baby Amelia. When I left she only knew how to lay in bed and get a bit mad here and there, and how she's sitting up and playing by herself, she gets jealous and cries now when you don't do things her way. Like forreal? Ahhh, it breaks my heart that we're missing out on so much.
Mama, I know lately it's been tough on your end, and I wish I can do so much more to help you and release your stress level a bit, but the distance, the distance is just too long, too long that I can't be there to even try to help you go through this. I know you still have others, but I feel that no matter what no one will ever understand you best like me. I am sorry. I'm sorry I left at such a bad timing for you. But the least I can do, is lead a good life for you to be proud of. A good life for you to come to when you feel that all else had failed you. But I won't Mama. I promise. Mama, I know you are a strong woman, and you will continue to be strong. Hang in there, God has seen your hard work and heard you cried many times calling upon him. Nco ntsoov Nws yog peb tus cawm seej. Nws yeej yuav tsis tso koj pov tseg. Mama, yog koj quaj thov Nws, Nws yeej yuav hnov thiab coj koj txoj haus kev mus rau txoj kev tshaj ntuj. Koj txhob tso Nws tseg nawb. Cia siab rau Vaj Tswv. Nws yeej yuav tsis pub kom koj ntxhov siab li. Mama, I love you. Please take care of yourself.
Family, I miss you guys. I miss the gathering, the jokes, the laugters, the aruguments, the tears, the tough times and the happy times. I miss it all. Please please please, take good care of yourselves. I love you guys very very very much. Love always.
Mama, I know lately it's been tough on your end, and I wish I can do so much more to help you and release your stress level a bit, but the distance, the distance is just too long, too long that I can't be there to even try to help you go through this. I know you still have others, but I feel that no matter what no one will ever understand you best like me. I am sorry. I'm sorry I left at such a bad timing for you. But the least I can do, is lead a good life for you to be proud of. A good life for you to come to when you feel that all else had failed you. But I won't Mama. I promise. Mama, I know you are a strong woman, and you will continue to be strong. Hang in there, God has seen your hard work and heard you cried many times calling upon him. Nco ntsoov Nws yog peb tus cawm seej. Nws yeej yuav tsis tso koj pov tseg. Mama, yog koj quaj thov Nws, Nws yeej yuav hnov thiab coj koj txoj haus kev mus rau txoj kev tshaj ntuj. Koj txhob tso Nws tseg nawb. Cia siab rau Vaj Tswv. Nws yeej yuav tsis pub kom koj ntxhov siab li. Mama, I love you. Please take care of yourself.